Truth ... in January, Bob started asking me what I wanted to do for my upcoming birthday. I told him no parties, no big deal, no extra fuss. Because there were absolutely some moments back then and over the last two months that I felt a little, well, not exactly depressed, but rather overwhelmed that I was turning FIFTY.
I mean, I remember being in elementary school and thinking my high school babysitter was old. I remember my dad's 40th birthday party. I remember graduating college and wondering what came next. I remember (so, so clearly, like yesterday) being in Kazakhstan - 10 years ago! How did all those years go by so quickly? How the heck did I get here?
It is, quite frankly, somewhat shocking to have the milestone in sight that practically screams "hey, you are more than half-way done here!" It's one of those take stock moments. Your memories become a bit tinged with melancholy. You find yourself wondering if you've done enough with your time and what you want to do with whatever time you have left. A little maudlin, and a little scary, and yes, OK, a little depressing.
But, and this is even more truth ... tonight, I feel lucky. And very, very happy.
If you are reading this, you probably played a part in that. You may be one of my new friends who took me to dinner last week. Or my Mom and Dad who stopped by on the way to Florida and hung out with us for a few days. Or Marc and Le Anne, who once again joined in a slightly off-beat but fun adventure. Perhaps my little sister Kris or beautiful daughter Cearra who sent gifts with meaning and heart. Maybe you emailed, or called, or took a few moments to wish me a happy birthday on Facebook. You might even be one of the lovely and generous folks who insisted I don't look 50 (thank goodness for good genes and hair dye)!
And Bob, I know you are reading, and I thank you so much for celebrating with me, for making me feel special, for surprising me with ice cream cake, for gifting me generously with presents (and helping Owen pick out the perfect bracelet!) and most of all for reminding me that there is so much more to look forward to.
So, the biggest truth ... while I never lose sight of the fact that I am truly blessed to have made it this far and I know that I am fortunate in all aspects of my life, today each of you lifted me up when I needed a boost. You made me smile a little brighter, laugh a little louder and feel ready to rock every day of my 50th year! Thank you all.