Some Say 11/11 Means Angels Are Near ...

Twelve years ago today, we met him for the first time, and all the pieces of my heart finally clicked into place.

Happy Meetcha Day Owen

Feet First

We drove north an hour to the back roads of Mooresville; new friends spilling out of the car, arms full of beach towels and picnic fixings, as we arrived at the quarry of Carrington Farms. 

My cautious kid was a bit unsure about jumping in at first - the rocks seemed high and treacherous, the water dark and deep. But with a little support (from me and the life vest) he jumped, feet first.

Two years ago today, we all made the leap. Walked through the front door of 17126 Hedgerow Park Rd for the first time. And each day that we live and love in the Queen City makes me more thankful for our sweet life here.

Wishing you the courage, faith and support to jump feet first. 

Marriage Lessons from a Golden Couple and a Soggy Vacation

This year's family vacation was also a chance to celebrate my parent's 50th wedding anniversary. They decided they wanted to be surrounded by family and as many people from their wedding party as possible. So forgoing a more "glamorous" trip to Turks and Caicos, or a kid-pleasing Disney cruise, we headed once again to the mountains of Deep Creek Lake in western Maryland.

Not everything went as hoped, yet there were lessons, and things to ponder, and good times. In fact, as I reflected on the week, I found myself comparing it to marriage. Here's what I mean ...

Upon entering our rental home, we were disappointed. The floors and furniture were slightly worn, the paint needed retouching in several places, the dock was precarious, and the promised "Awesome View" was, well, not quite as envisioned.

Anyone married for a few years will probably agree that the luster of new love, the glow of a wedding ceremony and exotic honeymoon, often fade a bit through the years. A partner's faults, like chipped counters and a cloudy pool, can become consuming if that's what you focus on. To keep love alive, learn to focus on the positive traits that attracted you to your spouse early on; they are still there, like a home that provides shelter from a storm and warmth on a chilly night.

Mom and Dad splurged for a home on the lake and a boat for the week. It rained. Every. Single. Day.

Marriage isn't all sunshine and clear sailing. Some days aren't perfect; some days are downright tough. All marriages are tested by hard times and sometimes plans don't pan out. You have to keep going anyway, and take every opportunity to play in the sun when it's out. Even if it means jumping in a freezing cold lake when you get the chance.

My sister and I hired a professional photographer to take a family portrait as a gift for my parents. We planned it for a morning at the house, so that the kids would be fresh and in cooperative moods, and so that our aunts and uncles could be included. Did I mention yet the online photos of the rental house made it look like there was a spacious yard perfect for the shot? It wasn't. Remember all that rain? Yep, canceled the planned day and time. Thanks to a cooperative photographer, a brief break in the weather, and a trip to another lakeside location, we did get the pictures taken. How well they actually turned out remains to be seen - the kids weren't happy, the wind was crazy, and Aunt Cathy couldn't get down the hill as her foot is in a walking boot, but, we did it.

Another lesson in making the best of things, not giving up, and letting go of the idea of "perfect" ('cause no marriage is). Keep trying, and keep smiling. You won't get to 50 any other way.

No matter how much you love them, spending 24/7 with family has it's own challenges. People have different tastes in food, different ideas as to how to spend free time, different ways of looking at the world. My dad in particular has expectations as to what a family vacation looks like that sometimes cause friction among his adult children and sons-in-law. This year has its' share of tension. But my parents are generous, loving people who want to spend time with us. And it's important to them - and to me - that we continue to gather as a family.

Two "c" words that matter far more than cut and carat weight in a marriage: communication and compromise. Your spouse is an individual. He or she will not approach every situation as you do; will not like everything you do; will not share all of your views or agree with all of your ideas. Learn how to take a deep breath, calm down, and, to be blunt, suck it up. Occasionally put your wants aside for the greater good. Then be sure to always surround your marriage with friends and family who love you unconditionally and support you through good and bad days. Remember that the temporary spats are just that, and celebrate your common bonds.

Laugh whenever you can, act silly, go out of your comfort zone. Forgive your spouse easily, be generous, respect each other. Give your kids permission to be a little crazy; go ahead and join them.

And remember that even dark times end, and love and life sparkle again.

Not My Eyes or Smile, but My Whole Heart

November is ... Native American Heritage Month, Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month, COPD Awareness Month, National Novel Writing Month, National Blog Posting Month, Alzheimer's Disease Month, American Diabetes Month, Lung Cancer Awareness Month, National Homeless Youth Awareness Month, Crohn's & Ulcerative Colitis Awareness Month, National Pomegranate Month, International Drum Month, National Stomach Cancer Awareness Month, National Prematurity Awareness Month, Sweet Potato Awareness Month, and (whew!) National Pulmonary Hypertension Awareness Month.

But to me, above all else, November is National Adoption Month; and today, November 11th, is the anniversary of the first day we met Owen. 

All month, proud parents in the Kazakhstan facebook group have been posting pictures. "Then" snapshots from the sometimes dizzying days of meeting their soon-to-be sons and daughters in the baby houses and maternity wards, and "Now" photos of beautiful, beaming, clearly loved children; often tagged with the line "look what love can do". Each new post makes me smile, makes my heart swell. I adore seeing the shining faces of these Kazakh kids and even more so delight in the joy I know they bring their parents.

Often times, well meaning folks will comment that Owen is "so lucky we adopted him". And I guess from a purely statistical standpoint, they're correct. Human Rights Watch recently reported that in Russia, of the roughly 15,000 children released from orphanages annually (because they were not adopted and "aged out"), some 10% commit suicide, 30% commit crimes and 40% are unemployed and homeless. I can't imagine the numbers from Kazakhstan are any better. It's heartbreaking.

But the truth that any adoptive parent holds close is that WE are the truly lucky ones. I believe that all children are a gift, and to those of us especially who chased paper and waited for years, who withstood delays and disappointments, who emptied bank accounts and took a flight of faith ... well, there is not a day that goes by that we don't feel blessed by our kids.

Yes, we've given Owen a warm home, nourishing food, a wide network of loving family and friends. But Owen has given me the ultimate gift. He made me a mom. And even as I dreamed and prayed for him, I had no way of really understanding what that meant, how very much that would mean, until that day I finally held him in my arms.

Being Owen's mom has given me a new role - one that I think is the most important on earth - new responsibilities and challenges (and yes, new worries and anxieties)! I've marveled in new experiences and met life long friends through both the journey and in this season of raising him.

Parenting Owen has allowed me to fully understand how much my own mom and dad love me. How their each and every decision was made in my best interest, and how very much they want the best for me.

Owen makes me laugh louder, try harder, believe more. He's such a joy to be around! So many times this year he has made me smile and begin again, even when the pain of the tragedy we face threatens to swallow the light.

Everyday, my son (oh, how I still love to write that word!) makes me see wonder, delight in small things, and cherish the moments. With him I get to relive cherished traditions of my own childhood, and create new ones that I hope he will one day treasure with his children.

Each time he hugs me, or reaches his small hand up to mine on the walk to the bus stop, I am grateful for my blessings. Every night I still gaze in wonder at his sweet sleeping face as I thank God for him. Owen has given me his heart; and I have gladly, joyfully, given him mine. Forever.

So you see, how could anyone ever think that I'm not the lucky one?

The One of Shells, Furniture and Watches

Today, we have been married 17 years! Woo-hoo! The gifts for this anniversary are shells, furniture or watches (who made this stuff up?).

But ... let's be honest here; it hasn't always been easy. I don't believe any marriage can be that has to weather serious illness and upheaval and raising children and all the other stresses of life. Bob and I certainly aren't perfect; we sometimes annoy, frustrate, anger, even hurt each other. And it seems that whenever I begin to think, "aha, we've got this - our marriage is GREAT!", something comes along to once again upset the apple cart. Perhaps that's God's way of reminding me to stay humble and to keep working.

Yet we are both committed to the vows we made on that October day. I think a lasting marriage is largely about just "keeping on", having each other's backs, and trying to improve one's own flaws while forgiving your partner's imperfections.

In that spirit, I want to share with you all the wonderful qualities Bob brings to our marriage and my life; and some of the many reasons I love him and look forward to the next 17 years!

Bob has one of the kindest, biggest hearts I've ever known; and that is huge to me. He goes above and beyond to give people second chances and help them out with his time, energy and money. If you are his friend, family, co-worker, or heck, the guy stranded on the side of the road, he will do just about anything to help you.

Since the day he first proudly introduced me to her, Bob has willingly shared parenting Cearra with me. Being a step anything isn't easy, but he's always included me, rejoicing in all the good times and hanging on though the rough spots.

Together we chased the dream of our son halfway around the world (twice). Doing so caused him some deep emotional pain, but he persevered because he believed in the love that would come from our journey.

Despite his protests, I know he really does love the cats!

Although he didn't have the best dad growing up, he has become a wonderful father to our kids. While sometimes Cearra rolls her eyes at his declarations of affection, she has no doubt he loves her unconditionally. And while Owen shows no signs of being the natural athlete he was growing up, Bob gets outside and plays catch with him with enthusiasm and patience.

Bob has always worked so hard to provide for us. Yes, sometimes I resent the late nights at the office, the missed occasions, the near constant calls and texts. But I am more proud of him for building a strong, thriving, well-respected business and allowing me the blessing of staying home to raise Owen. I could never thank him enough for that.

He is our rock. Through illness, tragedy, uncertainty - he does everything in his power to take care of me, Cearra and Owen.

Family is number one for him. He loves and honors his mother, and respects and appreciates my parents (as my mom has commented, she knows she sometimes drives him crazy but he would never, ever say anything to her!). He loves his nieces and nephews and has a great time playing with them.

Of course it doesn't hurt that Bob wakes up smiling, sings in the shower, makes me laugh with his goofy antics, lets me make interior design decisions, sends flowers, and teaches kids of all ages to fish. And I still think he's a hottie!

Happy Anniversary Bob. I loved you then, I love you now, I'll love you into our future.

Fabulous Fall

Oh, how I love Fall!

This is my favorite tree. It's a big ole' beautiful maple, and each fall it lights itself up with the most brilliant colors. It positively glows at certain times of day. As we drove by today (I'm lucky enough to usually drive by several times a day), Owen said, "I'd like to just sit under your favorite tree and read a book in its shade". Me too! Think the homeowners would mind?

This my favorite "I do". October 19, sixteen years ago. Fall was a very good time to be married.

I love the cooler temperatures of fall, the crisp apples and fresh apple cider, the football games, the colors ... all of it. 

I love taking Owen to our local farm for a bumpy, jumpy hayride to pick our own pumpkins. So many great pumpkins this year - we ended up with quite a few.

That night we told Owen he could pick one gourd to carve ... too bad his pumpkin is feeling a little "green" around the gills!

Cee-cee and Dennis got home from a weekend trip and we chose another fine specimen from the front porch to go under the knife. 

Dennis' first time carving a pumpkin. He did a good job!

Cearra took over for the actual design, with Owen overseeing preparations.

Dennis looks a bit nervous, doesn't he?

Love him!

The finished product ... OK, Baltimorians ... who is it?

WILW - It's A Long and Happy One Today!

I'm loving that last Saturday, I was sitting next to my husband, watching our son cheer for his favorite monster trucks with a look of awe and excitement on his face, while our daughter sat on the other side holding hands with a boy (well, young man) who has brought much happiness back into her life. Last Saturday was also the day 14 years ago that a surgeon called to tell me I had breast cancer.

So what I'm especially loving today is that I didn't even realize this "anniversary" until a doctor's visit (for an unrelated, non-scary issue) on Monday. And I will never stop loving the fact that I was lucky to have great doctors to treat me, wonderful family and friends to support me, and an almighty God to watch over me and give me the opportunity to go on to live an amazing life filled with joy and good things. And you know what? I AM a warrior!

Onward to some other things I'm loving today (check out this list of other WILWers too!) ...

A fuzzy new bud on my favorite Bradford pear tree! I nursed this baby to life from a little stick that came in the mail from the Arbor Day Foundation and now it's glorious!

Oh these earrings ... the juicy colors, yummy stones, almost good enough to eat!

Even though I know it's kind of wrong, I'm loving Owen's laughter over this little duck that, um, "lays candy eggs". I mean come on, he thinks it's hysterical and hearing his hysterical laugh is priceless!

I'm loving my slightly early birthday present from my mom and dad - my new chubby little dolphin bead! Doesn't he look adorable nestled up to my July babies birthday bead? I think it's so special too that they gave it to me since they are also the ones who made my dream of swimming with dolphins come true. Thank you Mom and Dad!

I'm loving Owen's first love note! He came home with this in his book bag last Thursday. I asked him if Ryley gave these to anyone else, he said no. And while he didn't seem particularly wowed by the drawing of then holding hands, or the little sticker hearts, I will keep this forever!!

I'm loving these new Tom's shoes for Spring. The little toggle detail in the back - awesome. Even more awesome - buy a pair of Tom's shoes, and the company gives a pair of shoes to a child in need, Win-win, right? Yep, go here.

Today, I've saved the best for last, 'cause I am beyond loving that Cearra has been invited to join Sigma Beta Delta!! She did it! She set this as a goal and she worked her tail off to get there. We are so very proud of her and her academic achievements at Mary Baldwin. Cearra, you shine!

WILW - The Different One

Something a little different for WILW today. Remember to stop by Jamie's blog for more fun links!

American Efficiency Services (Bob's company) has its 10 year anniversary (so proud!) party coming up soon, and I need a dress to wear. Decided to cruise around Pinterest for a bit of inspiration ...

They are all beautiful, yes?

However, since in truth I'd much rather be in comfy yoga pants, I was soon distracted by these adorable cookies:

And then - (hee-hee) - by this:

Ah, Pinterest, I hate to love you. The dress search will continue another day.

WILW

Linking up again with Jamie for this week's WILW.

If you stopped by and commented on my last WILW post, thank you! I did visit your blogs in return, but must have been technically challenged that day and couldn't leave a comment. Try again and I will too!

I'm loving that Raven DL Haloti Ngata's wife still works out at our community family center gym; even if the brand-new Mercedes Kompressor G-550 AMG (starting at $124,450) she rolls up in gives my mini-van an inferiority complex.

I'm loving that while in Hilton Head last week, Bob, Owen and I took a trip to St. Simons Island, Georgia to meet up with my blogging friend Lyndsie, her hubby Daniel and their adorable baby boy Ethan. Lyndsie is obviously gorgeous on the outside, but it's her inner beauty that really shines. Her friendship is such a blessing to me!

Awwwwww, have I mentioned that I'm loving fall?

I'm loving this mirror. I'm not really a feminine, frilly girl in clothes or home decor, but I have always been drawn to this style, which originated in Venice in the 16th century.

I'm loving Scentsy's warmer of the month. You just pop a picture in the frame on front, and your loved one's face gets all "glowy". Definitely getting it from my online Scentsy party - come back this Friday to find out how to order Scentsy products too!

And today (and everyday), I'm loving that 15 years ago I said "I do" to this man. Through it all, he loves me. Happy Anniversary Bob!