Happy Meetcha Day Owen
Showing posts with label Kazakhstan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kazakhstan. Show all posts
November 11, 2018
Some Say 11/11 Means Angels Are Near ...
Twelve years ago today, we met him for the first time, and all the pieces of my heart finally clicked into place.
August 27, 2016
In Praise of Spit
We talk a lot, in the international adoption world, of both the joys we've found in being parents and the unique situations we may face. Two such issues on our journey center around helping our children understand themselves, their identity, what makes them, well, "them".
The first is a practical, yet important matter. And I admit it's one that punches me in the gut a little every time I encounter it - medical forms. Each time Owen sees a new doctor or has any procedures done, now and most likely for the rest of his life, a lot of spaces on it will be left blank. We just don't know if there's a family history of high blood pressure, or cancer, or heart disease. If there's a predisposition to diabetes or alcoholism. No, it's not the worst thing in the world, but it would be nice - for him, for us, for his doctors - to know.
The other challenge is perhaps even more central to our children's well-being and sense of self. Most of us grow up hearing about, and taking pride in, the rich cultural history of our family. I've always known both my mom and dad's families hail primarily from Germany. I grew up with a framed genealogy (written in German) on the dining room wall; I know about German food, German Christmas customs, and German fairy tales. Bob believes his ancestors trace back to England and Wales. Obviously, as an adoptive family, these genetic backgrounds don't work for us as we talk to Owen about his roots.
Owen's birth mother, in the hospital forms she filled out, identified herself and his biological father as Kazakh. Our in-country facilitators separately volunteered that Owen was "100% Kazakh". And so that's what we've taught him, sharing the Kazakh culture with him, visiting the Kazakh embassy, and being always on the look out for anything related to Kazakhstan. I've always been able to see Asian features dancing across his face - those gorgeous almond eyes, the low profile of his nose. And yet, we've wondered, as we try to answer his questions and talk about his ethnicity, if there was more in the mix that created our beautiful boy; after all, Kazakhstan is smack dab in the middle of the famed Silk Road and was for many years part of the USSR.
So here's where a little spit - and science - step in. We finally went ahead and bought a 23andMe kit at Target in mid-July, had Owen spit into the little test tube container, and shipped it off. He was excited, we were excited, and last week we got the results.
It turns out that Owen's ancestry composition is 64% East Asian and Native American. And the majority of that, coming in at 35%, is ...
Mongolian.
Well, that's interesting. And yes, a little surprising to us but not totally out of left field as both Mongolian and Kazakh people have a long history of being nomadic people, working and living in the vast Steppes of central and east Asia. Their traditions, music, cuisine and native clothing share many similarities. We will be sure to add this fascinating country and it's history and people to Owen's life story.
The remainder of his Asian ancestry is Yakut, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, "broadly" East Asian and South Asian, and a tiny bit of Native American.
Honestly, we were expecting to also discover a good amount of Eastern European lineage, specifically Russian. But the results, at 20%, came back fairly evenly spread among Eastern European (defined as Russian, Polish, Ukraine and Hungary), Southern European and Northwestern European. So he's a little Balkan, British, Finnish, but not French, Italian, nor (sigh) ... German.
We are thrilled to have this information for Owen. We all enjoyed reading his reports and talking about the results. Owen particularly like learning that most likely his birth mother's ancestors started some 29,000 years ago in Siberia.
As for medical information, while we still don't know those medical form answers, we discovered that Owen is not a carrier for 39 genetic conditions that, if present, could negatively impact him or his future children. On a lighter note, Owen's DNA shows he's more likely to prefer salty or savory snacks (true), have dry ear wax and less body odor (yuck and good!), and is not likely to lose his hair before age 40 or have male pattern baldness.
23andMe says clearly that they cannot tell the precise origins of all your ancestors, and that the results are based on estimates which could change a bit over time as more DNA is collected from populations world wide. And granted, the results aren't as detailed as we may wish for, but it's so much more than we had and we are thankful for that. Hallelujah for spit!
The first is a practical, yet important matter. And I admit it's one that punches me in the gut a little every time I encounter it - medical forms. Each time Owen sees a new doctor or has any procedures done, now and most likely for the rest of his life, a lot of spaces on it will be left blank. We just don't know if there's a family history of high blood pressure, or cancer, or heart disease. If there's a predisposition to diabetes or alcoholism. No, it's not the worst thing in the world, but it would be nice - for him, for us, for his doctors - to know.
The other challenge is perhaps even more central to our children's well-being and sense of self. Most of us grow up hearing about, and taking pride in, the rich cultural history of our family. I've always known both my mom and dad's families hail primarily from Germany. I grew up with a framed genealogy (written in German) on the dining room wall; I know about German food, German Christmas customs, and German fairy tales. Bob believes his ancestors trace back to England and Wales. Obviously, as an adoptive family, these genetic backgrounds don't work for us as we talk to Owen about his roots.
Owen's birth mother, in the hospital forms she filled out, identified herself and his biological father as Kazakh. Our in-country facilitators separately volunteered that Owen was "100% Kazakh". And so that's what we've taught him, sharing the Kazakh culture with him, visiting the Kazakh embassy, and being always on the look out for anything related to Kazakhstan. I've always been able to see Asian features dancing across his face - those gorgeous almond eyes, the low profile of his nose. And yet, we've wondered, as we try to answer his questions and talk about his ethnicity, if there was more in the mix that created our beautiful boy; after all, Kazakhstan is smack dab in the middle of the famed Silk Road and was for many years part of the USSR.
So here's where a little spit - and science - step in. We finally went ahead and bought a 23andMe kit at Target in mid-July, had Owen spit into the little test tube container, and shipped it off. He was excited, we were excited, and last week we got the results.
It turns out that Owen's ancestry composition is 64% East Asian and Native American. And the majority of that, coming in at 35%, is ...
Mongolian.
Well, that's interesting. And yes, a little surprising to us but not totally out of left field as both Mongolian and Kazakh people have a long history of being nomadic people, working and living in the vast Steppes of central and east Asia. Their traditions, music, cuisine and native clothing share many similarities. We will be sure to add this fascinating country and it's history and people to Owen's life story.
The remainder of his Asian ancestry is Yakut, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, "broadly" East Asian and South Asian, and a tiny bit of Native American.
Honestly, we were expecting to also discover a good amount of Eastern European lineage, specifically Russian. But the results, at 20%, came back fairly evenly spread among Eastern European (defined as Russian, Polish, Ukraine and Hungary), Southern European and Northwestern European. So he's a little Balkan, British, Finnish, but not French, Italian, nor (sigh) ... German.
We are thrilled to have this information for Owen. We all enjoyed reading his reports and talking about the results. Owen particularly like learning that most likely his birth mother's ancestors started some 29,000 years ago in Siberia.
As for medical information, while we still don't know those medical form answers, we discovered that Owen is not a carrier for 39 genetic conditions that, if present, could negatively impact him or his future children. On a lighter note, Owen's DNA shows he's more likely to prefer salty or savory snacks (true), have dry ear wax and less body odor (yuck and good!), and is not likely to lose his hair before age 40 or have male pattern baldness.
23andMe says clearly that they cannot tell the precise origins of all your ancestors, and that the results are based on estimates which could change a bit over time as more DNA is collected from populations world wide. And granted, the results aren't as detailed as we may wish for, but it's so much more than we had and we are thankful for that. Hallelujah for spit!
August 14, 2014
Beauty is in The Eye of the Parents
Many years ago, Bob and I took a seat inside a photo booth at Dave & Busters in Norfolk, Virginia, smiled at a blank screen, pushed a few buttons and waited, giggling, to see what "Junior" would look like. I remember thinking with some relief that our computer generated son was cute - a mop of dark hair, big eyes, and, thankfully, Bob's pert nose.
Cearra was a beautiful child who looked just like her Daddy, so in the times when such thoughts even crossed my mind, I figured Bob and I would eventually produce fairly attractive offspring (and no ego on my part there, I was banking heavily on Bob's good looks coming through).
That made me happy. Yes, perhaps it's shallow but let's be honest, after praying for good health, what parent doesn't secretly also wish, at least a little, for a cutie pie?
Of course, as you all know, God's plans didn't include a Bob-Jodi gene mix. That was hard at first. But as I looked through online adoption photo listings, I found myself strongly drawn to pictures of babies with dark hair, chubby cheeks, almond shaped eyes. And to my surprise (we had initially been researching a Russian adoption), all those sweet faces came from one place: Kazakhstan.
Our agency's referral process at the time allowed parents to specify gender and race, but you had no idea what your child would look like until the much anticipated day they sent you that magic email and perhaps a grainy, black and white video tape. By the time we got that far along in the journey I no longer thought much about how our future son would look - I just wanted him home!
Still, the video we received with our referral was somewhat surprising; the little guy didn't "look" like the son I had pictured in my head. It didn't matter, we were just to happy to finally be on our way to meet him.
That first trip to Kaz and the ensuing days were long, faith-trying, and heartbreaking, but ultimately oh so right. I've talked about it before here. So when I first gazed down at Owen in his crib, I did think he was adorable, but more than that, I felt in every molecular of my being that he was our son.
Now I look at Owen every single day and am blown away by his cuteness. His skin, his pillow lips, his gorgeous melted chocolate eyes. In fact, I can't look at him and not think he is so, so beautiful.
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But here's what I've also realized: every child is beautiful to their parents. It has nothing to do with face shape, eye color, skin tone. Nothing to do with whether or not you see your own features reflected back at you. Nor with symmetry or scars. Instead, it has everything to do with love.
I think that's the most beautiful thing of all.
Cearra was a beautiful child who looked just like her Daddy, so in the times when such thoughts even crossed my mind, I figured Bob and I would eventually produce fairly attractive offspring (and no ego on my part there, I was banking heavily on Bob's good looks coming through).
That made me happy. Yes, perhaps it's shallow but let's be honest, after praying for good health, what parent doesn't secretly also wish, at least a little, for a cutie pie?
Of course, as you all know, God's plans didn't include a Bob-Jodi gene mix. That was hard at first. But as I looked through online adoption photo listings, I found myself strongly drawn to pictures of babies with dark hair, chubby cheeks, almond shaped eyes. And to my surprise (we had initially been researching a Russian adoption), all those sweet faces came from one place: Kazakhstan.
Our agency's referral process at the time allowed parents to specify gender and race, but you had no idea what your child would look like until the much anticipated day they sent you that magic email and perhaps a grainy, black and white video tape. By the time we got that far along in the journey I no longer thought much about how our future son would look - I just wanted him home!
Still, the video we received with our referral was somewhat surprising; the little guy didn't "look" like the son I had pictured in my head. It didn't matter, we were just to happy to finally be on our way to meet him.
That first trip to Kaz and the ensuing days were long, faith-trying, and heartbreaking, but ultimately oh so right. I've talked about it before here. So when I first gazed down at Owen in his crib, I did think he was adorable, but more than that, I felt in every molecular of my being that he was our son.
Now I look at Owen every single day and am blown away by his cuteness. His skin, his pillow lips, his gorgeous melted chocolate eyes. In fact, I can't look at him and not think he is so, so beautiful.
But here's what I've also realized: every child is beautiful to their parents. It has nothing to do with face shape, eye color, skin tone. Nothing to do with whether or not you see your own features reflected back at you. Nor with symmetry or scars. Instead, it has everything to do with love.
I think that's the most beautiful thing of all.
June 20, 2012
WILW - The Long Overdue Edition
Whew - I've been slacking! On posts in general, but especially on WILW! So, without further ado, an extra long "What I'm Loving Wednesday" edition for you ... feel free to join in and comment with any and everything you've loving!
Love, love, love that Owen and I got to spend last week in Sunset Beach, NC with my wonderful friends LeAnne and Kristi and the Kokshetau Kids! It's a bit hard for me to admit as a Jersey shore-raised child (Sea Isle City/Avalon/Stone Harbor only, nothing like that trash on MTV!!), but North Carolina really knows how to do beaches. We had a great time - a little mini golf, a little "mommy" shopping, and a lot of ice cream and cocktails.
And not only do the kids enjoy the trip, it's a real plus to have moms to talk to who get the whole adoption thing - the joys and the worries - and I love that Owen will grow up knowing he has friends who not only share similar stories but also a culture and birthplace. Good stuff.
So it's going to be 98 degrees and humid as all heck today, and I'm loving that I have a friend with a pool who is kind enough to invite us over (see you soon Kathy!!). I discovered this yummy Key Lime Pie frozen yogurt is pretty sweet to cool off with too!
I just love this bag. The shape, the colors, the "I just dropped my horse off at the stable" preppiness of it:
Love the beautiful birds painted by my even more beautiful sister-in-law Maria:
In summer I love to pile on a cool, casual mix of fun bracelets like these from American Eagle Outfitters. They're like friendship bracelets for grown-ups!
Speaking of, I'm loving that Owen is rocking some beachy bracelets too!
Loving that blueberries are buy one-get one free. Delish.
I'm loving that ... Cearra is home; Owen hasn't had any issues at all after his surgery and my Mom is doing well after her recent "tweak"; we have the Mechem Family Reunion and Kaufmann Family vacation coming up; the inpatients are looking good; research has shown dark chocolate helps your muscles recover from a workout; and as always, I'm loving hanging out with my very own Captain America!
Love, love, love that Owen and I got to spend last week in Sunset Beach, NC with my wonderful friends LeAnne and Kristi and the Kokshetau Kids! It's a bit hard for me to admit as a Jersey shore-raised child (Sea Isle City/Avalon/Stone Harbor only, nothing like that trash on MTV!!), but North Carolina really knows how to do beaches. We had a great time - a little mini golf, a little "mommy" shopping, and a lot of ice cream and cocktails.
And not only do the kids enjoy the trip, it's a real plus to have moms to talk to who get the whole adoption thing - the joys and the worries - and I love that Owen will grow up knowing he has friends who not only share similar stories but also a culture and birthplace. Good stuff.
So it's going to be 98 degrees and humid as all heck today, and I'm loving that I have a friend with a pool who is kind enough to invite us over (see you soon Kathy!!). I discovered this yummy Key Lime Pie frozen yogurt is pretty sweet to cool off with too!
I love that I've been going back to the gym! Bob, Cearra and Dennis are all very good at working out and eating healthy, and they've inspired me. And yes, I love that my gym is housed in an old armory - I mean, shouldn't one always work out in a castle??
Love the beautiful birds painted by my even more beautiful sister-in-law Maria:
In summer I love to pile on a cool, casual mix of fun bracelets like these from American Eagle Outfitters. They're like friendship bracelets for grown-ups!
Speaking of, I'm loving that Owen is rocking some beachy bracelets too!
Loving that blueberries are buy one-get one free. Delish.
I'm loving that ... Cearra is home; Owen hasn't had any issues at all after his surgery and my Mom is doing well after her recent "tweak"; we have the Mechem Family Reunion and Kaufmann Family vacation coming up; the inpatients are looking good; research has shown dark chocolate helps your muscles recover from a workout; and as always, I'm loving hanging out with my very own Captain America!
February 8, 2012
WILW
Whew, I'm loving lots of stuff this Wednesday, and linking up with Jamie again, so let's get started!
I'm loving the adorable beach ball cake pop my creative and talented sister made! Soooo cute. You can check out her blog to see all her yummy creations.
I'm loving the new Kazakhstan adoptive family group on facebook. Very fun to reminisce with other folks who have been there, and love the country that allowed us to bring home our amazing kids. This picture was posted by another member; it's a street scene from Owen's birth city, Kokshetau, and I love it because when we were there in January and February all we saw was bare branches and snow!
I'm loving this dolphin charm from Chamilia. Hmmm, you know my birthday is coming up ...
I do try to limit my time on Pinterest ('cause boy you can loose an hour there easily!) but I adore this family room picture I found. How gorgeous is this??
I'm loving Texas Caviar! Yes, Cee, I did make a batch last night and I promise to make you some next time you're home!
I'm loving that Peanut Butter & Jelly (pictured) and Mater are still alive and well! Every few days I scoop them out of their hiding spots in the mulch and put them on the sand side so I can make sure they are still with us!
I'm loving that I found my favorite air freshener scent today! It's a "Limited Edition" edition, and disappeared there for awhile, but I was faithful in checking the shelves anyway, and ta-da, today it was there. Yippee! Sometimes, it is the little things!
And today and always, I'm loving my hubby, Cearra and my buddy, who makes me laugh everyday!
I'm loving the adorable beach ball cake pop my creative and talented sister made! Soooo cute. You can check out her blog to see all her yummy creations.
I'm loving the new Kazakhstan adoptive family group on facebook. Very fun to reminisce with other folks who have been there, and love the country that allowed us to bring home our amazing kids. This picture was posted by another member; it's a street scene from Owen's birth city, Kokshetau, and I love it because when we were there in January and February all we saw was bare branches and snow!
I do try to limit my time on Pinterest ('cause boy you can loose an hour there easily!) but I adore this family room picture I found. How gorgeous is this??
I'm loving Texas Caviar! Yes, Cee, I did make a batch last night and I promise to make you some next time you're home!
I'm loving that Peanut Butter & Jelly (pictured) and Mater are still alive and well! Every few days I scoop them out of their hiding spots in the mulch and put them on the sand side so I can make sure they are still with us!
I'm loving that I found my favorite air freshener scent today! It's a "Limited Edition" edition, and disappeared there for awhile, but I was faithful in checking the shelves anyway, and ta-da, today it was there. Yippee! Sometimes, it is the little things!
January 25, 2012
Five Years Ago in Kokshetau
Awake, predawn, in a hotel room. Excitement, nerves and jet-lag make an insistent alarm clock.
Waiting through blowing fuses with the hairdryer; breakfast in a room with a yurt in the corner; more paperwork.
Driving through narrow streets, smoke and cold in the air. Two flights up at the children's hospital, nodding at nurses, trying not to peer into other rooms where local mothers and babies lay. A smell I will recognize always but never be able to describe.
Now into a small room with a rickety crib ... and an unfamiliar child. That isn't him. Burst of fear-confusion-worry.
No, no, nyet, they realize their mistake. Wait a minute more.
And then ... finally ... Owen.
Perfect, beautiful, promised, already so loved.
A little while later, I sit on a low cot, my back pressed to the cracked tile wall. Our baby boy sleeps in my arms. I look at Bob as my heart bursts with joy. Happiness overflows in the form of tears.
This will forever be my favorite moment.
Waiting through blowing fuses with the hairdryer; breakfast in a room with a yurt in the corner; more paperwork.
Driving through narrow streets, smoke and cold in the air. Two flights up at the children's hospital, nodding at nurses, trying not to peer into other rooms where local mothers and babies lay. A smell I will recognize always but never be able to describe.
Now into a small room with a rickety crib ... and an unfamiliar child. That isn't him. Burst of fear-confusion-worry.
No, no, nyet, they realize their mistake. Wait a minute more.
And then ... finally ... Owen.
Perfect, beautiful, promised, already so loved.
A little while later, I sit on a low cot, my back pressed to the cracked tile wall. Our baby boy sleeps in my arms. I look at Bob as my heart bursts with joy. Happiness overflows in the form of tears.
This will forever be my favorite moment.
November 2, 2011
WILW
Happy Wednesday Morning! Today, I'm loving that I'm class Mom at Owen's kindergarten! We are going to be focusing on the Wampanoag Indians, and the teacher assures me I will have lots to do helping the kiddos make vests, drums, and headpieces - can't wait!
Maybe it's the sugar hangover from helping my Angry Bird with his Halloween candy, but I'm loving these cupcakes my incredibly talented sister made for a recent birthday party!
I'm also loving this year's opportunity to spread a little Christmas cheer to orphans in Kazakhstan. Two Hearts for Hope is going to provide, with your support, a special gift to each child at Arca Village in Talgar, KZ. Please click here to learn more about this wonderful mission and how for only $20 you can make a difference in a child's life.
I'm always loving silver, sparkle and bright green! This photo is one of my inspirations for my mantle decor this season. I've started to pull things together - bought a huge wreath today that transferred tiny bits of glitter EVERYWHERE! - and will be sure to post a pic in a future WILW!
While I still like the china Bob and I registered for 15 years ago, I think it's time for something new! I've been wanting white plates for a long time - I think it's fun to mix and match with different holiday/color pieces - and I'm loving the Emma dinnerware from Pottery Barn. And yes, we still have a while to go until Christmas, but I'm so excited that my Mom and Dad just ordered me new place settings as my big gift this year!
That's all for this week! Have a wonderful day thinking of all the things in your life you are thankful for - because that's the real message in WILW, isn't it?
Maybe it's the sugar hangover from helping my Angry Bird with his Halloween candy, but I'm loving these cupcakes my incredibly talented sister made for a recent birthday party!
I'm also loving this year's opportunity to spread a little Christmas cheer to orphans in Kazakhstan. Two Hearts for Hope is going to provide, with your support, a special gift to each child at Arca Village in Talgar, KZ. Please click here to learn more about this wonderful mission and how for only $20 you can make a difference in a child's life.
I'm always loving silver, sparkle and bright green! This photo is one of my inspirations for my mantle decor this season. I've started to pull things together - bought a huge wreath today that transferred tiny bits of glitter EVERYWHERE! - and will be sure to post a pic in a future WILW!
While I still like the china Bob and I registered for 15 years ago, I think it's time for something new! I've been wanting white plates for a long time - I think it's fun to mix and match with different holiday/color pieces - and I'm loving the Emma dinnerware from Pottery Barn. And yes, we still have a while to go until Christmas, but I'm so excited that my Mom and Dad just ordered me new place settings as my big gift this year!
That's all for this week! Have a wonderful day thinking of all the things in your life you are thankful for - because that's the real message in WILW, isn't it?
February 3, 2011
Go Kaz Go!
I love the Olympics, so when I stumbled across the fact that Kazakhstan was hosting the 2011 Asian Games, I was thrilled!
January 28, 2011
Sharing Our Story
I imagine that my virtual path through the Internet would look a bit like a cat playing with a mouse ... here, there, oops, over yonder! You see, there are a few blogs that I visit daily, and sometimes I'll find myself on a new blog courtesy of the first, and then maybe another, and then ... well, you get it.
This morning I checked in on Daniel and Lyndsie, then meandered over to a new blog for me, Kelly's Korner, where the post today was "Tell Us Your Adoption Stories".
Up until now I've really only shared this blog with family and friends, and it's a little scary putting us "out there". But it felt right to link up with Kelly's post now. Anytime I read of someone struggling with infertility I want to grab them by the shoulders and shout gleefully about adoption, but I realize each person has to come to their own decision, in their own way, in their own time (drat). Still, if just one person is encouraged to go ahead and pursue adoption because they read our story (or any of the other 160 - and counting - stories shared on the link!), well, I think that's a wonderful thing.
So, if you are here thanks to Kelly, welcome! You can read our posts from Kazakhstan in the January 2007 through March 2007 archives. I've scattered many other tidbits about adoption - and how the gift of our son has brought so much joy to our family - throughout the blog. Whatever path you ultimately take, stay strong, stay faithful, and know that you will be blessed!
This morning I checked in on Daniel and Lyndsie, then meandered over to a new blog for me, Kelly's Korner, where the post today was "Tell Us Your Adoption Stories".
Up until now I've really only shared this blog with family and friends, and it's a little scary putting us "out there". But it felt right to link up with Kelly's post now. Anytime I read of someone struggling with infertility I want to grab them by the shoulders and shout gleefully about adoption, but I realize each person has to come to their own decision, in their own way, in their own time (drat). Still, if just one person is encouraged to go ahead and pursue adoption because they read our story (or any of the other 160 - and counting - stories shared on the link!), well, I think that's a wonderful thing.
So, if you are here thanks to Kelly, welcome! You can read our posts from Kazakhstan in the January 2007 through March 2007 archives. I've scattered many other tidbits about adoption - and how the gift of our son has brought so much joy to our family - throughout the blog. Whatever path you ultimately take, stay strong, stay faithful, and know that you will be blessed!
January 26, 2011
Reflecting
So there's snow on the ground, with more to come. No school, no where else to go. But the pantry is newly stocked, and Bob is home and preparing to get a fire started. It feels like the perfect day to snuggle with my guys and remember where we were four years ago.
Yesterday marks the anniversary of our first official visitation with Owen, but I think this day in 2007 was the first time I actually exhaled. And while I will readily admit that I doubted and struggled and questioned, when I held Owen in those early days it became very clear that God's plan was perfect all along.
January 26, 2007 - Kokshetau, Kazakhstan
January 26, 2011 - Westminster, Maryland
(I showed Owen the Kaz picture and asked him to make the same face - I think the result is pretty darn cute!)
Yesterday marks the anniversary of our first official visitation with Owen, but I think this day in 2007 was the first time I actually exhaled. And while I will readily admit that I doubted and struggled and questioned, when I held Owen in those early days it became very clear that God's plan was perfect all along.
January 26, 2007 - Kokshetau, Kazakhstan
January 26, 2011 - Westminster, Maryland
(I showed Owen the Kaz picture and asked him to make the same face - I think the result is pretty darn cute!)
June 30, 2010
Homesick for Kazakhstan
Our travel partners and friends Maureen and Sean are currently back in Kazakhstan adopting a little brother for James. Every morning I log onto their site, keeping my fingers crossed for an update. I love reading each entry, and not just because I'm thrilled for them as they bond with Michael. I love looking at each picture posted, and not just because it's wonderful to see them all smiling. Although of course I am, and it is.
You see, their journey tugs at my heart and makes me long for Kokshetau. Don't get me wrong, there were parts of the six and a half weeks we spent in country that were downright tough; and Bob and I were both happy to get back to Maryland. But there is something about the whole experience that grabs you and never completely lets go. A huge part of it was the emotional thrill of meeting Owen and making our dreams finally come true, but there was so much more.
It was the novelty of being somewhere new - and literally foreign. I found it (mostly) exhilarating to have to try a little harder to choose groceries or get places. It was fun to visit the Tsum department store vs. the local mall, the Green Market vs. the Safeway.
It was learning that it is freeing to live with less - a smaller household space, fewer choices at the store, a limited and oft-repeated wardrobe (although by the end I was wearing a pajama top during the day because I was so tired of my other options), and no time saving appliances. On second thought, that last one never did get easier. I liked the size of our apartment (if not the bathroom) and having to walk everywhere because we had no car.
It was interesting being somewhere that we didn't act, speak or look like the majority of folks. I found it deeply humanizing to reach across the language and cultural divide to share a laugh with a new acquaintance, or wave to the clerk at our neighborhood market when we saw her at a restaurant for dinner.
It was the way we had to roll with the punches ... our daily schedule often depended on what some faceless official or hospital administrator decided; many times we had to trust Rada our translator for meal choices; we happily ate raisin pie for dinner with Sean and Maureen when the cooking gas ran out and couldn't be refilled until the next day. I think it was liberating to learn to let go - especially for someone like me who prefers to be in control.
It was being somewhere where our evenings together weren't interrupted by work phone calls, emails, or even TV reruns. We spent every day - all day - together, and we had to work as a team to finish what we had set out to accomplish. I found that was a good thing for our marriage.
In Sean and Maureen's words and pictures I remember the sights and smells and sounds that will always be within me. Bright blue paint, worn but serviceable furniture, plates of rotisserie chicken and mayonnaise and dill, glossy dark hair and gorgeous faces, ornate ironwork and crumbling cement, car horns and techno music. It all takes me back to the biggest decision Bob and I ever made, the most rewarding journey of my life. I will forever treasure Kazakhstan for giving me the greatest gift, our Owen, and I suppose part of me will always be homesick, but in a good, good way.
I won't publicly post pictures of Michael yet, nor say what city they are in, as the legal process is not yet complete. But if you would like to read Sean and Maureen's journey, leave me a comment and I'll send you a link and the password.
January 20, 2010
San Antonio Sojourn
Each year for the past three, I've traveled to a different part of the country to meet up and spend a long weekend with some amazing women. This year's trip was to San Antonio ... strolling (and cruising) the Riverwalk, a carriage ride to ooh and aah over beautiful mansions in the King Williams neighborhood, touring the Alamo, mojitos and nachos served with a side of mariachi music, and of course, lots of laughter and late night gabbing.
I first met these fabulous friends during the long, sometimes tortuous process to bring Owen home. When we get together we squeal like schoolgirls and fall into big group hugs. Then and now, they understand the unique joys and sorrows of being an adoptive mom. We talk openly and honestly in a way that those who have not walked this journey may not understand; and it is good and vital to have their support, encouragement, and counsel.
We share memories of living in Kazakhstan - the good, the bad and the smelly - and like moms everywhere, brag about our charming kids and commiserate on the occasional frustrations of being a parent. We laugh and cry and debate and well, just have tons of fun together.
Yes, these women are strong, independent, fiercely funny, beautiful inside and out - and I treasure them always.
All of us and our buddy Jack the horse
l to r: Le Anne, Susan, me and Alison at the Alamo
Susan and Le Anne on the Riverwalk
l to r: Angela, Alison, me and Le Anne enjoying a little music and refreshments on the Riverwalk
Le Anne and Angela and their brunch hurricanes at Pat O'Brian's
Alison with a gift from her mini baby shower. She's due in May!
As for Owen, he spend the weekend with Nanny and Daddy, dancing to oldies, creating with play-doh, reading books and watching movies (and showing Nanny how much he loves the new TV!), and having a good ol' time.
Thanks to Nanny, and my mom and dad for helping to make this weekend possible. I truly appreciate it!
I first met these fabulous friends during the long, sometimes tortuous process to bring Owen home. When we get together we squeal like schoolgirls and fall into big group hugs. Then and now, they understand the unique joys and sorrows of being an adoptive mom. We talk openly and honestly in a way that those who have not walked this journey may not understand; and it is good and vital to have their support, encouragement, and counsel.
We share memories of living in Kazakhstan - the good, the bad and the smelly - and like moms everywhere, brag about our charming kids and commiserate on the occasional frustrations of being a parent. We laugh and cry and debate and well, just have tons of fun together.
Yes, these women are strong, independent, fiercely funny, beautiful inside and out - and I treasure them always.
All of us and our buddy Jack the horse
l to r: Le Anne, Susan, me and Alison at the Alamo
Susan and Le Anne on the Riverwalk
l to r: Angela, Alison, me and Le Anne enjoying a little music and refreshments on the Riverwalk
Le Anne and Angela and their brunch hurricanes at Pat O'Brian's
Alison with a gift from her mini baby shower. She's due in May!
As for Owen, he spend the weekend with Nanny and Daddy, dancing to oldies, creating with play-doh, reading books and watching movies (and showing Nanny how much he loves the new TV!), and having a good ol' time.
Thanks to Nanny, and my mom and dad for helping to make this weekend possible. I truly appreciate it!
December 29, 2009
Rada Comes to Maryland
She first met us at the Kokshetau airport in the dark, freezing rain of a November night; the only one as we stepped off the Yak onto an icy tarmac that spoke English and could tell us what to do next (namely, load up our luggage and hold on for a bumpy ride to the babyhouse). As you all know, that trip did not go as expected, and Rada's shock and hurt for us those first few days was genuine, as was her happiness when we finally found Owen.
Rada made sure that upon our return she would again be our interpreter, and the three of us spent many hours together that January and February - walking around Tsum and the Green Market for souvenirs and gifts (but nothing made in China!!); eating lunch at Rainbow Cafe or the Turkish pizza place; hunting down a hair dryer, a microwave and hangers (all of which caused her to think we were a bit crazy); playing with Owen in the apartment; and one memorable night, going to a bar to watch soccer and have a few beers. Petite, pretty, stubborn, proud and smart, Rada will forever be a very special part of our family.
She's been in Las Vegas the past seven months, and as she finally had a few days off, we decided to fly her to Baltimore for a visit! I can't say for sure that Owen remembered Rada, but he was instantly at ease with her.
With only one day to sight see, we decided to take Rada to the Inner Harbor and aquarium. I think she very much enjoyed seeing the wide variety of fish and critters, and getting a glimpse of Baltimore's charms.
For dinner we headed back to the house to meet up with Cearra (who had arrived earlier in the afternoon), and then to Sakura Japanese Steak House - another new experience for Rada ... and Owen, who really liked his drinks paper fan.
It's part of the performance there to have the chef dice up shrimp and toss them at the patrons to catch in their mouths (I always feel a bit like a trained seal at this point). We decided to let Owen have a go at it, and he thought it was great fun - repeating several times after the fact "one, two, three, ahhhhh ... it hits me in the eye!" (please don't call the authorities, he wasn't hurt!).
So Rada is now on her way back to Vegas, and hopefully it won't be another three years before we are all together once again!
Rada made sure that upon our return she would again be our interpreter, and the three of us spent many hours together that January and February - walking around Tsum and the Green Market for souvenirs and gifts (but nothing made in China!!); eating lunch at Rainbow Cafe or the Turkish pizza place; hunting down a hair dryer, a microwave and hangers (all of which caused her to think we were a bit crazy); playing with Owen in the apartment; and one memorable night, going to a bar to watch soccer and have a few beers. Petite, pretty, stubborn, proud and smart, Rada will forever be a very special part of our family.
She's been in Las Vegas the past seven months, and as she finally had a few days off, we decided to fly her to Baltimore for a visit! I can't say for sure that Owen remembered Rada, but he was instantly at ease with her.
With only one day to sight see, we decided to take Rada to the Inner Harbor and aquarium. I think she very much enjoyed seeing the wide variety of fish and critters, and getting a glimpse of Baltimore's charms.
For dinner we headed back to the house to meet up with Cearra (who had arrived earlier in the afternoon), and then to Sakura Japanese Steak House - another new experience for Rada ... and Owen, who really liked his drinks paper fan.
It's part of the performance there to have the chef dice up shrimp and toss them at the patrons to catch in their mouths (I always feel a bit like a trained seal at this point). We decided to let Owen have a go at it, and he thought it was great fun - repeating several times after the fact "one, two, three, ahhhhh ... it hits me in the eye!" (please don't call the authorities, he wasn't hurt!).
So Rada is now on her way back to Vegas, and hopefully it won't be another three years before we are all together once again!
November 11, 2009
"Mommy, are you smile?"
Three years ago today Bob and I were led into a small tiled room and there, in the first crib on the right, lay our son. That incredible day was to me the birth of our family of four; the fulfillment of a promise between Bob and I; the joy and hope that God had always planned for us all; and the beginning of the rest of our lives with Owen.
I think this is an appropriate post for today ...
It happens with some frequency now, I look at Owen and see the young man I imagine he will become. A glimpse of the plump of baby cheeks yeilding to swoop and hollow cheekbones ... the curve of shorn hair on the nape of his neck ... a knowing glint in those beautiful brown eyes. In that glance, my heart both soars and runs for cover.
Meeting Cearra at the age Owen is now, and attending her high school graduation mere months later (which is truly at times how fast the ensuing years felt), did somewhat prep me for how quickly the growing years pass.
So I find myself cherishing each small moment. I try not to rush Owen for fear I'll miss some wonderful 3-year old discovery he wants to share. We move through the days primarily at his pace, cuddling in our big bed before rising and enjoying breakfast with a side of giggles.
As much as possible errands are run with fun and discovery in mind. Sears is not just a place for small appliances - it's also a tractor wonderland - and the grocery store is full of color, shapes, and live lobsters to watch. We like the duck pond, and the John Deere dealership, and we often play outside until the sun starts to set.
I remind myself often to stop whatever other noise fills my day and just "be" with Owen. To get down on his level and play cars. To paint, or play guitar, or read a favorite book again.
Oh sure, somedays I'm better at this whole thing than others (and I'm never as good as I wish I were). Some days my patience is short or I'm tired or have a headache. But I try. Because as Owen often asks me "Mommy, are you smile?". And I do every day, for I am so very blessed and I am enjoying every moment.
I think this is an appropriate post for today ...
It happens with some frequency now, I look at Owen and see the young man I imagine he will become. A glimpse of the plump of baby cheeks yeilding to swoop and hollow cheekbones ... the curve of shorn hair on the nape of his neck ... a knowing glint in those beautiful brown eyes. In that glance, my heart both soars and runs for cover.
Meeting Cearra at the age Owen is now, and attending her high school graduation mere months later (which is truly at times how fast the ensuing years felt), did somewhat prep me for how quickly the growing years pass.
So I find myself cherishing each small moment. I try not to rush Owen for fear I'll miss some wonderful 3-year old discovery he wants to share. We move through the days primarily at his pace, cuddling in our big bed before rising and enjoying breakfast with a side of giggles.
As much as possible errands are run with fun and discovery in mind. Sears is not just a place for small appliances - it's also a tractor wonderland - and the grocery store is full of color, shapes, and live lobsters to watch. We like the duck pond, and the John Deere dealership, and we often play outside until the sun starts to set.
I remind myself often to stop whatever other noise fills my day and just "be" with Owen. To get down on his level and play cars. To paint, or play guitar, or read a favorite book again.
Oh sure, somedays I'm better at this whole thing than others (and I'm never as good as I wish I were). Some days my patience is short or I'm tired or have a headache. But I try. Because as Owen often asks me "Mommy, are you smile?". And I do every day, for I am so very blessed and I am enjoying every moment.
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