Seeing Owen

Several years ago, a good (and wise) friend Manda and I were having a conversation about children. I admitted that one mental hurdle I was facing regarding international adoption was how I would feel when our child did not look like Bob, me or anyone in our family.

Manda's son looks very much like her husband and her daughter is a dead ringer for Manda's brother, but her comment was that when she looked at her children, she didn't see anyone else's face, she just "saw them". It was an "aha" moment for me, and whether she knew it or not, it helped.

Today Owen and I were shopping and the cashier asked me "what's he mixed with?". She was friendly and interested (and looked as if her own ethnic background was rather diverse) so I explained he was born in Kazakhstan, and he was Asian. She said with a big smile that she thought he looked Asian.

Now here's the interesting part ... when I look at Owen, I don't see Asian, or Caucasian, or me, or Bob (although plenty of people have told us he looks like us). I see a little boy with beautiful brown eyes and an impish grin. I see a little boy who laughs at the silliest stuff and babbles all the time. I see a little boy who lights up our world.

I see Owen - only Owen - and that's an incredible feeling.

Football - Fantasy and Otherwise

Last weekend was Cearra's high school's first football game of the season, so the Maryland Mechem Three packed up the car once again and took off for Virginia Beach. After more than seven hours of crawling traffic, we finally arrived and took our place in the stands. And while the team was a bit of a disappointment, the cheerleaders looked good (Cearra most of all!) and Owen was thrilled to see his beautiful big sister and show off his custom made t-shirt.

Our friends Amy and Jack opened their home to us for the weekend and we enjoyed visiting with them and Joshua, Jackson and Madison. The heat index on Saturday was 106, so we made a splash in their community pool - Owen loved being in the water, splashing, kicking, and "jumping" off the side - before heading back to the house for a cook-out and a relaxing evening in the A/C!

Cearra was in heaven surrounded by all the kids - she is soooo good with children - and Owen had a blast playing with Joshua (at one point "playing" involved them facing each other while sitting on the kitchen floor and taking turns yelling "ahhh"!). Bob and I were feeling especially blessed to have our two incredible kids together.

On Sunday we had our AES fantasy football league draft, and I'm happy to report that with the first pick, "O's Outlaws" (that's me) selected LT! Bob and I face off opening day; stayed tuned for results. We've been prepping Owen for the season too - he wears the Raven's purple and black well!

We are looking forward to a quiet week at home and then it's back on the road to join my Mom and newly-retired Dad (congrats Dad!!) for a golf weekend at the Seaview Resort in NJ. More pictures will surely follow ...

Ah, Wisconsin ... Smell the Dairy-Air!

The title of this post is a bit of an inside joke between us and my sister and brother-in-law Jeff (and one which I'm certain they are very much over by now)! While I've found that much of Wisconsin does indeed have a certain aroma, I also think the people there - particularly Jeff's family - are incredibly nice. So to honor Midwest kindness I now pledge to retire that joke once and for all.

As you may have gathered, Bob, Owen and I traveled to Green Bay this weekend for our niece Mackenzie's baptism (I'm her proud God mother) and Samantha's 2nd birthday party.

The trip started off on the right foot when we walked on the plane and one of the flight attendants plucked Owen from my arms and started strolling around with him. He didn't seem to mind at all and I think he even helped shut an overhead bin or two! In talking with her a little later we discovered that her youngest son was adopted from Romania.

Owen was wonderful during both flights, happily playing peek-a-boo with fellow passengers, looking at his Farm Babies book, and sharing Dad's gingerbread cookie. On the way home he dozed off about two minutes prior to landing (after quality time on Dad's lap and spending a few minutes being fascinated by the lights of Baltimore outside the window) and stayed asleep through deplaning, getting luggage, boarding the bus to long term parking, driving home, and a diaper change! Overall he was a great little traveler.

On Saturday we joined Jeff's family for lunch and their traditional "GMOs" (I think it stands for Gary Mommaerts Olympics - basically some wacky games like seeing how far you can throw a wiffle ball with your non-dominant hand and playing "golf" with a soccer ball, baseball bat and five trees), then went to church for Mackenzie's baptism. The little angel slept through the entire ceremony, briefly waking only when the water was poured on her head! She looked so precious in her beautiful gown made by Jeff's mom and she is sooo sweet. Doesn't she look like the Gerber baby?

After the ceremony Jeff's extended family came to his parent's for dinner and we all ate too much and had a few Old Fashioneds (apparently another Mommaerts tradition - gotta love this family!). Owen, Samantha and Mackenzie enjoyed the day and I loved watching all three of them on the couch "reading".

The next morning my Dad, Jeff and Bob went to the Packer Hall of Fame, and in the afternoon we gathered with friends and family to celebrate Sam's 2nd birthday at Jeff and Kris' house. Samantha loved being the center of attention and all of her gifts, especially her pink cowboy hat and tricycle from Aunt Lori and Uncle Dan. Owen got his first wagon rider and discovered he loves watermelon and cantaloupe.

On Monday we took the kids to a local playground where Owen enjoyed the swing, a water mister, and a game picturing, what else ... food (that's a cookie). Then the Mechems packed up and drove back to Milwaukee for the end of a wonderful weekend and our flight home.

Thanks Jeff, Kris and the entire Mommaerts family for such warm and welcoming hospitality - we had a great time!

All The Difference in the World

Last week we got an email from the office manager at our adoption agency - she had discovered a video of Adil (Owen) from August 2006 (he was about a month old) that they had never sent us. Did we want it?

Of course we did! One reality of being an adoptive parent is not having many pictures or stories to fill in the blanks before meeting your child. So we were thrilled to receive the tape.

We recognized him the minute his sweet little face appears on the screen - big eyes, little grin. I'd know him anywhere. And it's not just his looks; while you can hear other babies in the background crying, Owen is serene and interested in looking at the camera and the caregiver holding him. That's our "calm gentleman"!

Shortly after I watched the tape, I found this cartoon on another adoptive mom's blog. I hope I don't offend anyone, but it made me smile. To understand that, you probably have to know this:

Before Owen, I went to countless baby showers where I'd ooh and aah over lilliputian outfits and cuddly teddy bears, and enthusiastically try to make out baby parts in those fuzzy ultrasound pictures. And when I couldn't take it anymore I'd duck into the bathroom to quietly cry.

Before Owen, I got calls from family and friends with their pregnancy news - I celebrated with them or tried to console them - and then I'd hang up and sob with jealousy and loss.

Before Owen, I hated the baby section of Target and didn't dare set foot in a Babies R Us.

Before Owen, I endured invasive and uncomfortable procedures, and daily shots and blood draws that reminded me all too much of my chemo days.

Before Owen, I blamed myself and thought I was defective.

Before Owen, I wondered if I'd ever have a child; if for some reason God didn't want that for me.

Before Owen, I questioned if I'd be a good enough mom to a child that wasn't my blood; I sometimes doubted it could all work out.

And then ... there was Owen.

Since the moment we met him, every single tear of unhappiness, every doubt, every painful memory has disappeared. I'm no longer envious or sad. I can't imagine any other child or any other way. Now I even feel fortunate that I had Before Owen to help me appreciate how miraculous our journey to him has been.

Adoption isn't for everyone, and I completely understand (and respect) that some women have a powerful urge to experience pregnancy/childbirth; some men need to pass along their genes. There are many reasons to want to have a family and of course there is nothing wrong or lesser about wanting to have children the "old fashioned way".

But to anyone struggling with infertility - and hiding out in the bathroom crying - I wish I could tell them that there is a way out of the darkness. The light of your life might be waiting right now in a crib halfway around the globe. And I can promise that you will never regret going to find that light. Because it makes all the difference in the world.

Lions and Tigers and Bears ... Oh My!

On Sunday we dressed Owen in his Brookfield (Chicago) Zoo t-shirt from our buddy Jack Lyle, and embarked on his first zoo trip.

We saw fluffy birds and playful monkeys, and this animal that looks like a cross between a mini kangaroo and a big rabbit! Owen enjoyed the Fallow Deer the most, cheering them on as they rushed the fence for more food. As always I loved the regal tigers; although we were a bit concerned when we saw an empty stroller outside the cage and some very full looking cats inside! But no worries for Owen - he rode in comfort and safety all day long and we all enjoyed our visit.

Go Auburn!

(as long as they aren't playing Penn State!)

Today we journeyed to Annapolis to celebrate Bob's cousin Allison's high school graduation and wish her luck as she heads off to Auburn. She is a really wonderful young woman and we know she'll be even more fantastic in college. And perhaps after a semester she'll be able to explain to me why it's the Auburn Tigers but their rallying cry is "Go War Eagles"?

Anyway, I had to include a picture of Allison's awesome mom Chris (who is also a faithful blog reader!) as well as Owen taking a nap with Nanny ... notice she was fanning him with a paper plate to keep him cool. Does this kid have a great family or what??

Owen Paints (well ... sort of)