Several years ago, a good (and wise) friend Manda and I were having a conversation about children. I admitted that one mental hurdle I was facing regarding international adoption was how I would feel when our child did not look like Bob, me or anyone in our family.
Manda's son looks very much like her husband and her daughter is a dead ringer for Manda's brother, but her comment was that when she looked at her children, she didn't see anyone else's face, she just "saw them". It was an "aha" moment for me, and whether she knew it or not, it helped.
Today Owen and I were shopping and the cashier asked me "what's he mixed with?". She was friendly and interested (and looked as if her own ethnic background was rather diverse) so I explained he was born in Kazakhstan, and he was Asian. She said with a big smile that she thought he looked Asian.
Now here's the interesting part ... when I look at Owen, I don't see Asian, or Caucasian, or me, or Bob (although plenty of people have told us he looks like us). I see a little boy with beautiful brown eyes and an impish grin. I see a little boy who laughs at the silliest stuff and babbles all the time. I see a little boy who lights up our world.
I see Owen - only Owen - and that's an incredible feeling.
2 comments:
When I look at Owen, I see snails, nails and puppy dog tails, when I Look at his Mom, I see sugar, spice and everything nice!
Hugs,
I remember that conversation and I am glad it helped. Know that your joy and the way your share it with the world (I love to check the blog) makes me realize how much joy and love Bobby and Courtney bring me. BTW, I vote for Batman!
Let's try to talk soon.
Manda
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