Webster's defines "forfeit" as "To lose or lose the right to as a punishment for an error, offense, or crime".
Last night, after our game, the league commissioner reluctantly approached our head coach and told him that some of the remaining teams on our schedule had decided to forfeit rather than play us. You read that correctly. At least two other teams have decided to take a lose, to quit, to give up, to not permit their children to play a game they love, because, well, I guess because they figure our Diamondbacks will beat them, and, honestly ... I just don't understand in the least how they came to this decision.
What error, offense or crime have the kids on those teams (or ours) made to deserve this punishment? How are the coaches and parents going to explain to their players there's no need to put on their uniform and head to the field, because the adults have decided to forfeit?
By the way, I've watched the other teams all season. They have fun on the bench. They try their hardest. After the game they line up and perform the traditional "good game" hand slap with smiles on their faces before heading off to enjoy snacks. I'm guessing none of them felt unworthy or lacking. At least not until their coaches and parents tell them they can't play us, because they think it's better to give up.
But what if the kids themselves have said they don't want to face the Diamondbacks again? Well, that seems like a perfect teaching moment to me.
Forfeiting is not, as the WBA mission statement reads, "using the sport of baseball as an instrument ... to help all the young players develop positive character traits and values that will aid success in the rest of their lives."
Quitting is not "working with parents to provide a proper environment for learning the game of baseball, the WBA program also strives to assist in developing the qualities of citizenship, discipline, teamwork and physical well-being by advocating the virtues of character, courage, sportsmanship and loyalty."
Now some of you may think their decision is a little thing to get worked up over. After all, it's just a bunch of 7-8 year old kids playing baseball, and to a small degree I understand that (although I'm very sad for our boys who may be deprived of playing out the season). Yet I can't help but think how this attitude from parents is shaping the next generation. I mean, nothing says success like being a quitter, right? And certainly nothing builds those character traits quite like walking away when things don't go your way.
I believe these parents are doing a huge disservice to their kids. I shudder to think of the other life lessons that are being "taught" in their households. What life skills are these kids learning?
My sister and I were raised to never, ever quit. Not on ourselves, our family, or our team. Since we are talking sports, allow me to share this memory. We were at the 1986 Orange Bowl where my beloved Penn State football team got walloped by the Oklahoma Sooners. Hearing the cheers of the Sooner fans and knowing there was no chance of a win made me want to leave the game early. But my parents refused. They told me that you always support your team, you never give up. There were many other lessons during my childhood that reinforced the same message, illustrated by their words and actions, and I credit my upbringing - and my determination to endure many challenges throughout my adulthood - to my parent's teachings.
I feel for the players on these teams. They have parents who don't believe in their ability to persevere. They have coaches who aren't showing them the fundamentals of success in athletics or life. I wonder to what extent their futures will be negatively impacted by that lack, and how our society will fare when these same youngsters are adults. I suppose, that in a few years, our Diamondback boys will again be leading the way, and for that at least, I'm grateful.
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