My kid, eating the ranch dressing from his carrot and cucumber snack with, yep, an ice cream scooper. Got a problem with that? Read on.
I overheard two moms talking today at the gym. One was pontificating on her opinions regarding TV and computer access for kids. She thought that some parents were too naive about what their kids were watching and let them have too much unmonitored time; while others went unnecessarily overboard and banned TV or computers altogether. She, however, had figured out the right balance and was only too happy to share her thoughts with her companion (and the rest of us) on the matter.
Hmmm, I thought, "do I sound that self-righteous when I talk about parenting"? After all I have been known to have some strong opinions, and as the eldest child I'm no stranger to bossiness (ask my sister). I realized with a little shudder of horror that I'm sure on occasions I have indeed been that annoying mom. Got me thinking ...
I know parents who are strict enough to make me look like a push-over, and ones who could probably use a little Super Nanny styled help. Parents who discipline by screaming, locking their kids in their rooms, time-outs, time-ins, toys lost forever; and parents who chose the path of no discipline (have to say those play dates aren't my favorites). I know parents who forbid sugar, artificial colors and flavors, and anything non-organic; and parents whose kids exist on a steady diet of chicken nuggets and hot dogs.
Parents who seem quick to label their kids and push for therapy, special classes, camps, and expectations; and parents who appear to overlook fairly obvious issues. Parents who enforce naps, separate bedrooms and bedtimes, and ones who (like me) think if the family bed is OK for more than half the planet's parents it's good enough for us. And of course parents at each tick of the scale in between those extremes.
But as the mom at the gym demonstrated, we can all be pretty tough on each other. Judging. Ridiculing. Scoffing. Parenting has turned into a competitive sport. It's not all fun and games on the playground people. And I find that sad.
So while I still have definite opinions as to a "better" way to parent, I'll try to quietly pursue them, and continue to do as I always have with Owen, without shoving my viewpoint down any one's throat. I'll do my best not to be the mom who puts other moms down, or criticizes their parenting style. If someone questions my ways I won't get defensive; I'll simply listen.
Because the common denominator I see in this is that all the parents I know love their kids and are doing the best they can, as they can, with what they can. And really, in this world where babies are still discarded like trash and toddlers are locked in closets, shouldn't that be enough?
5 comments:
Jodi -- you are a great mom and what works for you, works for you, Bob and Owen that is all that matters. Parenting skills is so wide in variety, that what works for one doesn't another. Good conversation and back forth between other parents can make us good parents. The trick, my friend, is finding a good friend to have the conversations with -- and not shove parenting styles down the throat! :)
I couldn't agree more. Hi, I'm a friend of Deb and Scott's. Your post really hit home...because of a recent encounter I had on this very subject. We are all doing the best we can and should regards others' efforts with compassion, knowing none of us is perfect.
Totally agree! I was recently "judged" rather harshly for letting Casey watch SpongeBob. Really? That makes me a sub-standard parent? We may not be perfect, but we only ever do what we think is best for our kids.
Thanks Susan - I think you are an awesome mom too!
Welcome Tita - nice to have you hear and I always welcome new comments and opinions!!
Kim, you know I'd be in serious trouble with who ever it was that critisized you for the Sponge-Bob incident! We love that yellow guy in this house - he's loyal, kind, generous, always positive, hard-working, and a little goofy! Good stuff!!
Love your post. As parents we are always so quick to criticize one another but rarely do we take the time to tell a parent when they are doing a good job. I make it a point, when someone's child (esp. a teenager) does something nice or good, I let that parent know. As a mom, the pay is low, the return on the mom investment is priceless and the little bonus for me - when another parent tells me something good or even great about one of my kids! Love all the new pictures! Love, Kim
PS - I know I haven't told you lately, you are doing a GREAT job!!!
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