November 14, 2012

Musings on a Moment


(This is one of those few and far between "Optional Reading Posts". No cute kid stories or pictures - sorry Mom - just thoughts that percolated about my brain for a bit and finally splashed down on paper)

I remember the day clearly. My last chemo treatment. It was, thankfully, many years ago, yet the same feelings still come when I think of it now - the relief at completing another step to recovery, the strength I felt in getting through it, the happiness of the nurses hugging me goodbye.

And I remember this: during my treatment a woman came to sit next to me in our tan leather Lazy-Boys. I waited for that final drop to fall - she prepared for her first. We started talking, and I soon saw her anxiety and fear about chemotherapy, that necessary poison. I listened, and I shared, telling her about my experience. And when I stood to leave, she smiled and clasped my hand, saying I was an angel sent to help her.

What a blessing that was to me - realizing that I had smoothed the journey (if just a bit, for just a short time) for another soul. Paying forward the compassion others had shown me when I was first diagnosed; when I first stepped into the treatment room.

Several years later I happened upon a blog from a beautiful young woman who was a cancer survivor and hoped to adopt. She wrote with great faith and happiness, and we started a correspondence. One month, a few strangers cruelly questioned her decision to parent - calling her selfish for wanting to be a mother when it was possible her cancer would return.

Devastated, she wrote me, asking if I agreed. I responded with my heart, telling her about some of the emotions I too had faced. When she responded, it was with renewed hope and joy and certainty to pursue her dreams for a family.

What a blessing it was to me - realizing that I had smoothed the journey (if just for a bit, for just a short time) for another soul. Paying forward the reassurance and encouragement others had offered me as I faced naysayers and inner demons on the long road to life after cancer.

Last week I got my hair cut at a new salon. A good friend had been going there for ages, and suggested I try her stylist. On a whim I made an appointment and soon was sitting in her swivel chair. As we chatted, I asked her if she had children. Her smile slipped briefly, and I knew in that moment what was coming.

"Not yet. We've been trying for a few years, but ...".

As she snipped away, I shared bits of our story. I listened as she opened up about her struggle. Hair finished, I hugged her and told her I knew she would find the path to her child. She hugged me back, and smiled with tears in her eyes.

What a blessing it was to me - realizing that I had smoothed the journey (if just for a bit, for just a short time) for another sole. Paying forward the hope and love others had offered me as I found my child.

I cherish each of those moments. They just felt darn good. Connected to another person in a way that was both humbling and uplifting. Call it karma, good will, whatever. I am so aware of God in those moments - and thankful that He put me in that place, at that time, and prodded my heart to respond. I hope my life is filled with many more such moments - the ability to pay it forward; the chance to comfort and encourage. To help one person make it though one day. To me, that is life's meaning.

Hoping today that you have a chance to have a "moment".

2 comments:

Susan C. said...

Beautiful post. I'm sure most people that cross your path in life feel blessed that you've helped them just by being their friend. I know I do.

MOM said...

Thank you for sharing, Jodi. Love, your proud MOM