Please Read With An Open Heart

My friend's sons

Dear readers, I've asked a lot of you over the years.

I've asked for the silly, sublime, serious. I've asked you to indulge this mom's frequent musings and be gentle with her fears. I've asked you to send hope to the Japanese people in the form of felt flowers, and love to Kazakh orphans wrapped as Christmas gifts. I've asked you to shop, vote, play along, and pray. You, my friends, have always, always responded with generous hearts and minds.

Now I come asking once again, asking more of you; and in many ways this request is the most personal yet. A friend of mine, a fellow adoptive mom with two beautiful boys born in Kokshetau, needs a hand.

I first met "K" through her blog as she journeyed to Kazakhstan to bring her son home. A short time later she was back in Kaz, responding without hesitation to a call telling her that her eldest child now had a biological sibling - did she want to adopt him too? On that trip she met several people who would soon become my good friends as well, and soon "K" and I were sharing vacations and laughter.

Until just recently, “K” had been unemployed for more than 1.5 years despite looking diligently for work. At the time of her layoff she had no credit card or other debt, paid her mortgage, helped support her live-in mother, and provided her two boys – one of who is challenged with severe autism and life-long physical and mental disabilities - with a loving, creative, comfortable, happy home. The long period of unemployment, coupled with horrible financial advice given to her by a government agency, eventually lead to her losing her home to foreclosure. Ever positive, never complaining, “K” sold off many of her furnishings and belongings and prepared to move her family, all the while striving to make life as "normal" as possible for her children.

She had budgeted carefully for the move and planned on packing many of the smaller household items herself to save money on the professional movers. Good plan – until her mother suffered a horrible fall in the process and will now need major (and costly) surgery to replace her broken shoulder, and extensive rehab/rest for at least the next month. 

But as “K” prepares to start a new job (a job that pays only a fraction of her old salary, has nothing to do with her college degree or previous work experience, but which she is happy to have because it allows her to stay in the same area as the legion of doctors her youngest son needs and in close proximity to her father, whom she is slowing losing to a terminal illness), she needs assistance watching and readying the boys for school in the morning and in the afternoon until she gets home, a task her mother will not be able to perform for several weeks. Due to both her son’s disabilities and her mother’s current physical limitations, she will need to hire competent, professional care. In other words, someone who is trained in life-saving techniques and specialized child care – not your average 13-year old babysitter from next door – and that is something which does not come inexpensively.

Here’s where we come in …

I am asking you to please check your post-holiday budget and see what amount you can gift to a mom who needs a little hand. I am planning on sending the cash my parents gave me as a Christmas present; after all I might use it to buy myself a new outfit, “K” will use it to make sure her boys are well taken care of. Any amount will help - $10 buys a few gallons of milk; $50 helps with moving expenses; $100 or more helps lift a great burden off “K” shoulders. 

My friend is an incredible woman and mom. Through all the struggles, I have never heard her complain. Believe me when I tell you that she has faced circumstances that would make most of us crawl in the closet and never come out. She consistently sacrifices personally so that her boys don't have to. "K" has given me permission to ask for help now - which was both very difficult for her to do, and I think, very brave. She is strong, and proud, and independent, but sometimes in this life you need a little lift from friends to get you back on your feet. I am happy she is allowing us to be a blessing in her life.

If you'd like to contribute, please let me know. I will provide you with either a mailing address for "K" or her PayPal address if you prefer. Thank you.