The Best Gift

I really didn't know. Looking back now I see the clues were there all along, yet I somehow didn't quite realize that despite all I had, there was a hole in my heart. And it still amazes me, still brings a lump to my throat and tears to my eyes, that the hole has been so perfectly filled by a little boy born to another woman half a world away.

I think of her often, but especially today, because as full as my heart now is, I know that part of hers is missing forever. It is, sometimes, hard to know that the very gift which completed your life left someone else with a hole in hers.

So I pray she knows how very loved he is, how much he has filled - no, expanded - my heart. That he is beautiful and healthy and very, very happy. That I am incredibly, beyond words, grateful for him. In my mind I send her images of him: laughing with his big sister; playing in the sand; sleeping peacefully, his thumb falling gently from his mouth.

But while I acknowledge he is still part of her and will always be, he is my son. Make no mistake ... while my body did not form him, I am his mommy with everything I am. He is my light, my littlest love, my buddy, my joy, my reason for oh-so-many things. Every day - every single day - he allows me to see through the drudgery and despair with the eyes of a child who trusts the world is awaiting his exploration with open arms. He is a treasure, and he is cherished.

Today we mark the day of his birth. We'll laugh and sing and gather with family to toast him. We'll celebrate every moment we have had with him and look forward to many more. I'll watch him blow out his birthday candles as I wish his first mother peace.  And I will send her a silent "thank you" for the best gift I have ever been given.

Bleeding Blue and White ... Still

The jury has spoken, the task force has made public its' report. Columnists are calling for the "death penalty" for Penn State football, and four men (plus one monster) will forever be hated for both what they did, and what they failed to do, among the rolling mountains of Central Pennsylvania.

There is no defense for any of them - each in their own way failed miserably at a very basic tenet of life - protect the weak and innocent. Shame on them.

My heart is still grieving what I now know to be true. A personal hero to me and so many, a man who did many great things in his career, directly contributed to the tragedy that has forever changed my Alma mater and deeply scarred not only those children but an entire community.

I understand that some people only knew Penn State through the blue and white uniforms and grid iron victories. And it's a sad fact of human nature to cheer when a winner falls; to delight in a tarnished legend. Perhaps we were too proud of what we believed was good and true; perhaps we loved our school too much and put too much trust in mere mortals. But to the crowd at Ohio State who jeered and threatened a group of Penn State students, and to the folks at the Kenny Chestnut concert who hurled insults at a young man wearing a "Happy Valley" shirt, well, shame on you too.

I assure you that other than the victims and their families, no one has shed more tears these last few months than the more than half a million alumni and 100,000 current Penn State students. And each blazing headline, each mean spirited comment on facebook or twitter demanding that we be ashamed of our university, inexplicably questioning our character (rather than the perpetrators), or just outright calling us stupid and ignorant (and worse), well, it stings. Do you really believe any of us would have ever wanted this? Supported this?

Yes, it has been difficult to be a proud Penn Stater these last few months, and perhaps no more so than today. And yet, I am. I will always be. Because my university gave me so much and I will defend her and fight for her and see her though.

WE had nothing to do with the crime or the cover-up. WE are embarrassed, ashamed and infuriated that our leaders failed us. WE are hurting too. But, WE are committed to making sure it never happens again - anywhere. WE will continue to work and study and contribute to society in great numbers and deeds. And  WE are, WE have always been, more than a football team and a handful of misguided men.

WE will go on. For the glory of Old State.

WILW

A bit of a busy week here, so just a quick WILW today. Some things that caught my eye:

Wow! What a beautiful space!

This clock would fit right in - and I love the face!

This is amazing ... the panda face? It's actually the
ant eater's leg! How cool is that??

Love these! And love that they are made in USA

My next bead? Amber to represent Owen's birthplace.

DIY wire cloche

I'm a sucker for a silhouette

So true.
I am so thankful Owen is still such a snuggler

22

It's been said that Cearra took a while to make her way into this world (her poor mom was in labor for hours!) because she didn't want to compete with the fireworks of July 4th. That she was just stubborn. Or that she waited to arrive because then her birth date - 07/05 - matched her birth weight - 7 lbs, 5 ounces. Who really knows?

But without a doubt on this day 22 years ago, a very special gift was given to us all. And once again we take today to celebrate her birth, her life, and her future.

Happy Birthday Cearra! We love you then, now and always!

Pretty new hair and always cute couple

Ready for dinner at Sakura

Slurrrrp

She caught the shrimp! Love the look on Dennis' face!

Who doesn't like an onion volcano?

And the umbrella makes it Japanese?

He picked the sparkly rings as his gift
to her all by himself

Dennis enjoying one of her presents

Hard to believe Cearra is now the age
Bob was when she was born.

Ending a great day with our family tradition

Celebrating the Fourth - Family, Fun, Fireworks

Hope your fourth was a wonderful celebration, in any way you chose to spend it! We are truly blessed to live in a country of freedom and independence.

As for us, Bob, Owen and I made a visit to Catoctin Wildlife Preserve to see lions and tigers and, er ... deer.

Angora sheep - very cool horns

Rode the camel all by himself! Being brave.

Yep, he likes to pose with statues.

Then it was home for a nice dinner with Cearra and Dennis, and a little family game of baseball.

Notice the humidity haze my camera picked up!

Red, white and blue - so cute too!

To cap off our day we headed next door for refreshments and firework viewing at the corner of Charingworth and Tylney Hall. Thanks Nelson and Donna! (pictures courtesy of Cearra)

Everyone else is now drifting off to sleep - we have a big day 'round here tomorrow!