January 9, 2008

Labeling My Kid


At yesterday's doctor appointment my worries met up with the American Pediatric Association's guidelines for "normal" development, and the result leaves me a little sad, and yes, a little more worried.

Owen, despite his love of books and cheerful babbling, does not yet say the standard number of words for a child his age. I've recognized this for some time and have been working with him (flashcards, word games, etc.) to try to increase his vocabulary. Previously, our pediatrician wasn't alarmed (and in fairness he still isn't; his own son didn't talk until age 3) but hitting the 18-month milestone means further action. So Owen is now scheduled for a hearing test which will be followed by an assessment, and further speech therapy if warranted, by Maryland's Infant and Toddler Development program.

I think Owen will be just fine, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little nervous about what may be going on. But I also believe Owen will talk when he's ready. It wouldn't surprise me at all if he is one of those kids who welcomes his 2nd birthday with full sentences. He is obviously curious, observant and bright.

Perhaps in our competitive world we push children to reach certain milestones with little regard to the child him/herself. In Owen's case, he lived in an orphanage setting for over six months (which experts agree equates to a two month delay in development), and the only language he heard (and then most likely very rarely) was Russian. He certainly didn't have anyone reading to him or working with him on English sounds or words. Even without this beginning, perhaps he is just one of those kids who isn't verbal early in life, and maybe that should be OK. After all, Einstein didn't speak until he was four.

Still, we want to rule out any physical cause for his lack of formal speech, and of course provide him any assistance he may need, so we will pursue the path recommended. It just saddens me that he is now labeled "speech delayed" and the resulting suggestion that something is deficient in him. If we really must label kids, why not "unique"? Because that's what Owen is to me - exploring the world in his own way, learning things at his own pace, and doing things in his own style.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jodi, I can hear the worry in your words. Please know I am sending positive thoughts your way.

Hugs & Kisses

Sherry

Anonymous said...

Owen is a little boy who likes to observe and study everything. He'll talk when he is ready. I have a friend whose daughter didn't talk until she was 20 months old. Suddently one day in the car, at a stop sign, Leslie spelled out stop and then said it. It was a good thing Cheryl was at a stop sign! From that point on Leslie was a chatter box!

It is good that you are having Owen checked out. It will help to put your mind at ease.

Love, Aunt Cathy

Anonymous said...

I didn't talk until I was three and I was able to make up the lost time. The delay in the beginning didn't stop me from having a great life that includes the best wife, daughter and son in the world!

With the love and attention you give him and the hugs from Sherry it won't be long!

I love you! ME

Anonymous said...

Jodi, i can appreciate your annoyance and saddness about "labeling" try not to worry too much. Ty wasn't a chatter box at 18 months either, but that too changed. we kept saying that Ty was just saving his words until he had something really important to contribute to the conversation! I'm sure Owen will be chattin it up with you all very soon. I'm sending lots of positive vibes.

Kelli

Anonymous said...

Jodi,

My younger brother Brady didn't speak until he was 2 years old, and then his first words were, "Look at the moon;" a complete sentence! He just wasn't ready and I am sure you are right that Owen just isn't ready. Of course you worry - why wouldn't you? Do the tests, but know that Owen will speak when he has something to actually say.

Love you lots!

Erin
econnors@ciena.com (new work address - write me!)

Anonymous said...

Hey Jo,
I agree with all of the offered advice. One of the kids I used to babysit didn't say a word for the first year I sat for him (everyday!). He turned 3 and hasn't stopped talking...the real kicker - he's now 17, a junior at Haverford, and super-smart! Hang in there!
courtnay

Anonymous said...

Our son Zander is 19 months old and he was just evalutated last week. He does not speak any words clearly. He has in the last couple of weeks stated saying some things. (dink for drink, eese for cheese, hat etc.) While he is definitely behind, the evaluator said that becuase of his beginnings (he didn't come home from Guatemala until he was 7 months old) it is understandable. He should catch up within the next 6 months. So while it is hard seeing other children already talking, I know that he will soon. Hang in there & keep on playing word games.

- tina, another AGCI parent who has alerady been here. = )