Optional Post I

I often lay awake at night, thoughts swirling through my head, minutes ticking away on the clock as Bob and Owen sleep soundly next to me. I mentioned to Bob the other day that perhaps if I jotted these things down, they'd stop messing with me at 1:00 AM. I've always found clarity and release in writing, and hey, this is a format that works within my day.

So here's the first of my "optional" posts. I don't mean for them to be lectures, or even completely developed essays. They may not make much sense to anyone but me. They are not going to be posts that I obsess over for grammar or catchy phrases. And if you stop by only for the pictures of Owen and perhaps a glimpse into our lives, please feel free to skip these posts entirely (hence the optional in the title).

But I appreciate the chance to get these thoughts out of my head - at least for a while.

The Westminster Fall Fest raises monies for local charities and service organizations. Perhaps the organizers could spare some change to start a mandatory parenting class for some of Carroll County's mom and dads.

I'm not exaggerating to say the examples of - in my opinion - horrible parenting on display that day overwhelmed me. I'm not (just) talking about the mother who stood idly by while her kids shoved and cut in front of Owen in line, or the pregnant mom who pushed a stroller with one hand and smoked a cigarette with the other.

I'm talking about the many, many times I saw and heard children screamed at, roughly yanked around by their arms, and generally bullied by their parents. The worst one of all, a father who called his little girl (who couldn't have been more than 7), a "bitch" because once seated on the Ferris wheel she got scared and started crying, necessitating the carnival worker to let her back off - and I guess embarrassing or annoying her dad. It all made my heart ache.

None of us are perfect parents. Of course there are times when I'm tired or cranky or just plain "done", and I have raised my voice at Owen ... and I always almost instantly regret it. Maybe it's because I'm not a yeller by nature, and I am 100% against corporal punishment, but I can't understand the kind of behavior I witnessed at the fair.

I don't think I'm slack on discipline when it's needed, I certainly want to raise a well-behaved, polite, considerate child, and I try to parent with gentle firmness. I scratch my head over how anyone can believe that their children will be respectful and obedient if the adult that they love and look up to is flat-out mean and disrespectful to them?

Time and time again Owen reminds me that he sees and takes in everything, and I can't help but wonder how those kids at the fair feel when their red-faced, bug-eyed, spittle-flying parents are yelling at them. And what kind of adults those very same kids are going to grow into ... and how those kids will parent their kids. It saddens me; it makes me worried; it makes me hug Owen even closer.