How to Care for Introverts

Last week when I picked Owen up from school, the volunteer mom for the day made it a point to tell me she was thrilled because she had "finally" succeeded in getting Owen to talk to her during an activity. I know she meant it kindly, and I don't think for a minute she did anything that caused Owen any stress or discomfort, but it did trigger the Mamma Bear in me ...

While I don't think it's wise to label a 5 year old, as most of you know, Owen tends to be a bit quieter, more reserved, and more willing to play alone than a lot of other kids his age. So at this point in his life, it would be fairly accurate to call his behaviors "shy" or those of an "introvert". But who knows what the future may bring ... while it may be hard for some of you to believe I was much quieter as a youngster!

And as that formerly reserved child, I remember what it was like to be pushed into participating in an activity I  was nervous about, or being in a center of a crowd. I don't want Owen to experience those same feelings of dread or anxiety, although I do know that I can't always shield him. Thankfully, I think my own experiences have helped me to understand Owen and his approach to a new situation, or to be patient while he collects his thoughts and articulates them (i.e., I try not to rush to finish his sentences for him!).

I think too that in our current society there seems to be a bias towards the outgoing, vivacious, "look-at-me" child. A thought process that these children are smarter, more advanced, somehow better. A slight but perceptible attitude that if your child hesitates to talk in a group, or chooses to play alone rather than join with the raucous crowd at the playground, well, that he/she is a bit "different".

It would be so nice if we lived in a world that honored each individual for who they are, rather than trying to make one mold fit all. So I offer the following tips - good stuff for this mom (and extravert) to remember too.